Lollisugarcandy

Bon voyage!

2012-02-12T13:08:00.001+08:00

The long walk proves to be unsuccessful. My mind's still in chaos. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

Good food and perfect company

2012-02-11T18:05:00.001+08:00

Maybe after this, things would change but i know i have these memories to keep. Mavis is migrating tmr. I dont even know when i will see her again. Im just feeling so sad right now to even blog words that is worthy of this beautiful pictures. I even cried while i eat because my mother asked about your leaving. I already miss you, Mavis. I hope you're gonna have a good life in Australia. God bless you, always.

Foodie Friday in February

2012-02-04T04:38:00.001+08:00

Met up with them! Life's great!

Supppppp, Saturday!

2012-01-29T01:04:00.001+08:00

Feeling a little bit Alexa Chung inspired! Anyway hi! Its been an awesome week! Hope y'all are having as much fun as I am ;)

Jolly

2012-01-09T21:53:00.000+08:00

Life's been good. I've been good (HEHEHE). Im just taking one day at a time, enjoying them and occupying myself well. Met Khai and Natt yesterday after such a horribly long time. Miss them so bad! It was fun as usual. The usual us, doing the usual stuff. Stuffing ourselves with good food and drinks and long walks to nowhere. And today i went prawning with Mavis for the first time in my life. It was funny thou. Sad that Lynda couldnt join. I miss Lynda so bad. We live so near now and have always been in the same school but hardly meet. Weird. Cant wait for her to end her quizzes then we're planning to cycle at east coast. ( i cant cycle btw but i just wanna try the family ride HAHAHAHA)Time flies and before you know it, our dearest Mavis Mun will be flying to Perth again till August. Good god. Why are my friends all flying away while im stuck here. I wanna get out of singapore, and study abroad or something. Learn to be independent, learn new things and cultures, and learn to adapt. But when i think about the money, i guess, maybe later in life! No money, no talk. Cant even get myself into a local uni. Cant even afford to get into a private uni. K my post is so depressing but im just stating the facts and being realistic. Im also trying to set goals that are attainable rather than just wishful thinking and hence, disappointing myself. Yes i get it, we all have to dream big.....but not when you have more serious stuff to settle/achieve first. I mean, i cant just say i wanna be a workaholic and travelling to different countries to represent them...when i havent even gotten a decent cert to land myself that kind of job.

On another note, i got my first stopover results. To think about it, why havent i done better? Why didnt i get better grade when i feel that ive done my best? My best isnt good enough? So what is the best? What kind of quality work do i have to put in to be the cream of the crop? Why havent i been the best? Why havent i, for once, been the top student? Why is it that when i feel like ive done my best, its actually isnt the best in anyone's eyes? So maybe i havent really tried my best. I know for sure it takes more that "best effort" to be on top, i learnt that today. But yay, im thankful for a B grade thou. I just hope ill be motivated to do well as long as im still schooling. I hope i graduate with atleast >3 gpa. Sounds impossible but as long i keep myself in check and constantly remind myself abt this goal, then i think i'll be fine. Crosses fingers.

Goodnight!

Friends

2012-01-04T20:53:00.001+08:00

Hello hello! Not bad huh ive been regularly blogging! It's midweek, already. Met the msc mates for lunch earlier today and we all had lecture together. I've also been seeing my year one classmates around. God i miss so many of my friends! We need to like sit down and catch up or something.

Anyway something to ponder.....

There are so many kinds of friends. Those who don't benefit you in any way at all. Those who are nice. Those who constantly keep in touch and genuinely ask how you are doing. Those who support you in whatever you do. Those who critique you. So many kinds. I'm just wondering and i'll specifically narrow down to two kinds. One who thinks you're perfect/accept & love you for whoever you are/supports any decisions you make, despite you knowing for yourself you can be a klutz. And the other, giving constructive criticism (hurtful or not) so you can be a better person.

Do you prefer the nasty or nice? "Real friends" can be defined in many ways, subjective to your own personal opinions. These are the choices you make. Your choice of friends reflects who you are in certain aspects. It is also their choice to act in certain manner and you cant change them. You cant change anyone at all. You may inspire but at the end of the day, they are the only ones who can change themselves, just like you, making a choice and making the change. I've had the greatest of time, evaluating the two. They are very much the contrary but i think both keeps me going. Just personally, i want real constructive feedback, painful or not. The kind of feedback and criticism that keeps you up in check. The kind that racks your brain with countless questions about yourself. The kind that wakes you up and question your capabilities and broaden your horizons. The kind that makes you a better person.

I know of those who genuinely loves me for who i am. Always supporting any decisions i make. And i treasure them as much. These are specifically the two types of friends who shaped most of my life up. I am thankful to be given a chance to even meet them at all. What a beautiful life this has been.

Now... i do wonder what kind of a friend have i been to most of them.

1, 2, 3, close your eyes and count to 4

2012-01-03T01:57:00.000+08:00

2011 ended well and 2012 started well too. Life is always great for me. Thank God.

Ended it with my beautiful girls, Lynda & Mavis, dining at Delicious Cafe @ Scotts Square and then we went to the titanic exhibition @ Art Science Museum! It was so nice to catch up too and we all unexpectedly brought some gifts to exchange! Btw you guys need to try the cafe! The food is reasonably cheap and desserts were fucking great. I mean, i'd definitely pay for darn good food! The exhibiton was interesting except the part where i needed to shit so badly HAHAHAHAHAHA. And i bumped into my sissy in the exhibition. Say whuttttt! Gosh, i miss the girls already!

Today, i tried the Gmax reverse bungy. For the life of me, i'd never believe i'll ever get my ass on it. Cant believe i had the guts! Hahahahahahaha gosh i kept screaming before the thing could even move. Hils paired up with Pops while i paired up with Niz. Yup the two scaredy cats paired up. Idk if that was a good idea or not. But im surprised Niz remained so calm and collected! So that's how my new year started! Oh no....Hils came over yesterday to sleepover since my parents were away! Bought black pepper chicken, made seafood pasta and steak, changed curtains and bedsheets w/o beign told to do so, did my own laundry for the first fucking time, painted nails, baked brownies, watched Blood Diamond, made a vlog, slept at 6am, made banana pancakes when we woke up at 12 then off we go to give Pops her belated surprise, the gmax ride!

Yeah life's good. Blessed.

P/s: School at 12noon laterzzz

Year end

2011-12-31T16:29:00.001+08:00

Last year, before 2010 ended, I told 2011 to bring it on! It did! Even surpassed all expectations i had! I've had the best fun this year. Much more fun than i remembered having, ever.

2011 also taught me to handle loss. A feeling that was rather foreign after all these years. One thing i know, this time, was to handle it like an adult. Even after trying and making initiatives, things didnt work out. But i think i'm alright with that now. Im starting to accept things, you know? Especially if things doesn't seem to go my way. Accept and move on. It hasn't been this rewarding!

Also this year, i feel like ive grown closer to my family. It's a great feeling. And i'm starting to build bridges, not walls. I start to appreciate my friends as much as i appreciate myself. I learn to wear my heart on my sleeve and not worry if it ever gets dirty. Life is too short and i'm hoping to give people the best of me.

I'm not wishing much for 2012. As long as it makes me a better person, Insya'Allah :)

Have a great one!

I go back to december all the time

2011-12-22T13:52:00.002+08:00

Hey! So hmm, what's new? I got myself an iphone, ive gotten my pair of jeffrey campbell suebee(!!!!SEX!!!!!), im on break, my first stopover ended (cries), i made good friends (wheeee), my wardobe just grew larger (yayyy also i need to do clothes-culling), went for abit of shopping yesterday, been eating alot, im happy, saw boy_nugget at town, cant wait to catch up with friends, go out, dad had infection (boo), overseas trip cancelled, i still have a mountful of debts.

December is amazing! Hi!

Seventeen

2011-12-12T22:38:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, no! Most of the time, i still think im 17. Like i just freshly graduated from secondary school and in the first year of poly. Maybe i believed i was still 17 wayyyyyyy tooooo muchhhhhh and hence, this! I am so weird huh. But i like the feeling. The feeling of being 17. Nothing could and would ever go wrong. I screwed up for a wee bit but it was the best year of my life. I guess it's true, when you tell yourself something over and over again, you start to believe it. Im not exaggerating nor i am delusional....hahahhaha! I just love being that age. I may grow old but i dont think i'll ever grow up and out of that phase :')

Peace

2011-12-11T21:43:00.001+08:00

At times, it may be better to just live the low, quiet life. Being alone in your own world, consumed in your own thoughts, not being concerned over anything in this world. Life would be ideal, wouldnt it?

Money

2011-12-08T00:42:00.001+08:00

Hi! Didnt intend to blog at all but i think i gotta list my debts (and plans involving money) down and make it clear and loud to remind myself how horrible i am at financial management loooool

$70 nov hp bills....omg idw to think abt dec's!
$70 shoes

$30++ gmax
$30 titanic exhibition

$88 FTP gig tix
$$$$$$ presents cakes gatherings for dec babies

I think i have somemore debts. But i cant even rmb for fuck's sake. So yep, life's pretty awesome now that i'm fucked with money issues and the fact that i cant control my spending. I needa take chill pill with my wallet hahahahaha!

So we cool?

2011-11-29T23:46:00.001+08:00

So today was a bad day. Didnt know i was so weak, i let other people get to me. I guess it was the last straw. I just went mad and erupted like a volcano. Hot, fuming....and dangerous. Okay, pun intended. But that said, i'm so sick of people pushing their shits to me. Like come on guys, clear your own shit and stop acting like a bitch slaving others out. Fuckers.

Okay right. Just thinking abt it pisses me so much, i could stab these people with a pitchfork. My god. It is thaaaaaat horrible. (I locked myself up in a cubicle and cried, fyi) But ahhhh, i think im so blessed. Pops went out of work for abit to ensure i was alright and Dahlia dropped by and was very concerned too! Much love. And the people in my shift, especially the boys. They're so protective and cute, in a way. They get pissed when we get bullied into doing other people's work. They talked me out of my problems and vice versa. It's nice to know what's really going on in everyone's (okay maybe some?) lives. So glad CT talked abt his personal life and i actually listened. Like really really listen and feel for him eventhough we only knew one another for less than 7 weeks. He looks so happy and like any other normal boy would look, but really, who would have known? I feel blessed that compared to the rest, im still in a better situation and i should be abit more tougher, you know? These bros are so nice. I mean, in a short period of time, alot of things have happened. And i mean alot. Started off well, had some typical tiffs, and now it's so much better. Idk what next thing will happen, but im up for it. Be it good or bad (Im not hoping for that, im just saying), im ready. Knowing that there are people who care for me and knowing for sure that i got their back, makes me a stronger person. I just don't wanna disappoint anyone.

To the beach

2011-11-26T12:00:00.001+08:00

To the beach by lollisugarcandy featuring a floppy beach hat

November outfit 2

2011-11-21T02:02:00.001+08:00

November outfit 2 by lollisugarcandy featuring a keyhole dress

Safe

2011-11-14T22:10:00.001+08:00

"Everything around me seems to change steadily. Time seems to pass like a bullet train. But then i think of you. I think of all the good times we've had...and everything falls into place once again. As if time had stood still, for us. Everything is exactly like how it has always been. I feel safe."

Making my own mark

2011-11-13T15:12:00.001+08:00

I want to leave this place, this city, everything and everyone and never ever come back. I love being alone. No hesitations, no strings attached. Sounds horrible to everyone else, but i might need and love that.

November 2011 outfit 1

2011-11-06T15:32:00.001+08:00

November 2011 outfit 1 by lollisugarcandy featuring floral hair accessories

Travel

2011-11-05T02:09:00.000+08:00

I want to be able to leave home and travel this world without having to worry about the people i'm living behind or the implications i'm likely to create.

I want to leave this place. And go out there. Be on my own. To experience and to learn, to see the world with my naked eyes and be cultured. I want to be able to live an adventure, to encounter compassion and see what the world has to offer and not just be a tourist. I want to be able to understand that the world could be both a big or small place.

Pretty

2011-11-01T23:03:00.001+08:00

"I just think society is way too concerned with other people's idea of what's pretty" - 2 Broke Girls, S1E7

October outfit 2

2011-10-29T18:08:00.001+08:00

October outfit 2 by lollisugarcandy featuring gold stud earrings

Tumblr

2011-10-27T17:59:00.001+08:00

Tumblr (clipped to polyvore.com)

Lazy Sunday

2011-10-23T15:38:00.001+08:00

Hi hi hiiiiiiiiiii! It's a sunday and i'm in bed and feeling all hungry. Anyone noticed i have a cute bedroom door? I just realised that most people have rectangular doors!

So...i'm hungry. Maybe i should cook myself nuggets. I dont hear a single soul living. I think everyone is asleep. How tired can they be? It's 3.30pm alreadyyyyy.

I pretty much have nothing to blog about. So hi! Morning shift this week. I hope i can wake up. But im excited! It'll be a busy one, so God, please bless me.

Kenduri yesterday was a-okay. My family came late, so we just sat around. And it was socially awkward for me. But some of my cousins ended up talking to me. Which is so weird cause i probably got their names all messed up, and we barely talk and meet with one another except during hari raya. And these are my cousins you know? Close cousins. Our-dads-are-siblings-kind-of-close cousins. And there they were, probing me for my fb acct. Holy smokes. But okay lah, they're not the sort who kiss and tell. I HOPE! Errrr. But there's always the delete/block button if all else fails lololololol. And i have this girl younger cousin who's 13 but she's an inch or more taller than me. Crazyyyyyyyy! Can be supermodel ok!

So yeah i have a messed up body clock yet again. I slept late yest and i woke up at 5am and stayed up until like 8? Then i slept again and woke up at noon. Really hope i can wake up at 6am tmr for my shift. Hopefully it wont rain in the afternoon too! I wanna go for a dip in the pool. Yeah, im just rambling on and on. Really i think nobody reads this blog so it's pretty free and easy and i dont have to mind my words and all. But anyway, why should i mind my words hahahahahaha k krik krikkkkkkk

Oh and a shoutout to my fav girls! And Farah Fatin! Hi! Enjoy your sunday please. You'll only see it again in 7 days time! XX

P/s: I'm not kidding you but i NEED to shop. NEED.

P/p/s: Note to self - cut and paint nails

Schoooooool

2011-10-20T23:21:00.001+08:00

Thinking of ways to make my stopover at msc studio a better one. Ha ha ha ha ha. Really need to get a nice grade la. The credit units allocated for that alone is.....crazy! Plus, i really can't stand the BS.

And woah, it's friday tmr! So fast!

First week of TEP

2011-10-19T21:25:00.000+08:00

Having afternoon shifts this week. So exhausting the moment i got a seat in the bus on the way home. Like all the tiredness just sets in. All i did for afternoon shifts in school was wait for my friends to visit me, wait for the time to pass, wait for customers to come. Sounds like nothing right? But standing for five hours with nothing to do is...just so pathetic. Time passes so slowly when you're doing afternoon shifts. Next week, im doing morning. Gonna be busy with presentation/sales analysis, morning briefing, stock takes. Zzzz.

So yeah, im so tired from school. Gonna head to bed!

....of the week!

2011-10-16T23:02:00.000+08:00

Got my polyvore account working again! I think imma do this weekly. Matching pieces of clothes according to my currents wants..or maybe moods. Yup! Sounds like fun! Thank god i could recall my polyvore username-pwd combo! Okay school tmr, time to sleep now! Ciaozzz sistazzzzz xx

Edit:

Also had my nails done for this week!
Base colour: Yellow from The Face Shop
Shatter: Black Shatter from O.P.I

What makes me warm

2011-10-16T01:28:00.000+08:00

I've been blogging on a regular basis, havent i? Now that tep has start, i think i'll be too busy to even update! Anyway, spent my friday night at Grand Mercure Roxy Hotel with sister and her family! The view's amazing! Straight ahead it was the east coast beach so we could see the sea and the ships and the planes. The moment i got there and after Myreen fell asleep, each of us knocked out. So much for wanting to watch dvds! We even overslept hehehehe but we spent the morning at the pool! Sun's really hot, so the dip in the pool was awesomeeeeee. Then i headed to Hils' crib with the Pops and Niz and we watched horror shows! We were scared shitless. From thai ghosts to zombies. Eurghhh! But it was fun! Love the gurls too damn much. Stuffed our faces with Sarpino's pizzas (thanks Hils + parents!) and we even had a try at longboarding. I kept laughing while i tried to balance. What the hell. But it was so much easier on barefoot!

So sleepy! Goodnight y'all!

You. You. You.

2011-10-14T00:54:00.002+08:00

So what if people do this and that? They may live their life in their own way, you'll always find and live yours. You don't have to follow their footsteps. You make your own cause you have your own pair of feet - different, original and personal. Live for yourself. Not live to other people's expectations or expectations that they have set for themselves. You make your own expectations. You make your own plans. You know what's good for yourself. Don't do what others think might be good for you, in doubt. You may take their words and consider. But only do it if you want it and if it benefits you. Don't be ruled by what they think "living the life" is. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN MIND, YOU THINK FOR YOURSELF, YOU DECIDE WHAT TO DO.

And when your personal action leads to a mistake? Learn.

Back to school......krik krik

2011-10-13T01:31:00.000+08:00

Oh my god...school at 9am tmr. Somebody tell me this is not happening. 2 months of break has been a very great one. I don't want it to end. No, especially not with Tep, in a 'working' environment, and making new friends. I'm really just hoping for the best. Can't believe how apprehensive i'm feeling about this whole new semester. Loooooool slap myself!

So i ended my holidays by rewarding myself with a new pair of (high-waisted - which will totally not serve it's purpose) jeans. I've been eyeing on it since early october and today there was a 20bucks off. I hate to say this, but patience is virtue. LOLOLOLOL JUST KIDDIN Y'ALL. Patience is virtue? I've never had it. I think it was mere coincidence hehehehehehe. Also bought a white tunic top. I can count the number of white tops i have with just one hand! Thank you momma! YOU DA BEST!

Anyway i had so much fun with the girls yesterday! It's been soooo long! So nice to be disturbing them and hear their updates! We had ice cream buffet at swensen's...and got food drunk thereafter. Ama's dslr takes beautiful pics and thanks for uploading, babyluv!

Okay, snap snap! REALITY! SCHOOL TMR! OH I MEAN, LATERRRR!

Jakarta

2011-10-12T04:55:00.000+08:00

Well hello there! HEHEHE Okay i shall do a short update on my trip to jakarta. First of all, ive got to say honestly that the service there surpassed my expectations wayyyyy pass borderline. I was awed by the efficiency and initiative that the staffs had. Wait, i still am in awe. 5 days there felt great. Pretty short, rather, but i enjoyed it very much. Great food, great company.

Visited Nanny and new-born Dominic after we shopped at Mangga Dua mall + wash up. So cute! He has big eyes and loves to frown, like his daddy! So second day started with their hotel breakfast. Ahhhh food. I live to eat, i can tell you that. All sorts of pastries, fruits, omelettes, scrambled eggs, rice, noodles, porridge, bacon, chicken, dim sums, waffles/pancakes, mushrooms, cereals, yoghurts, juices, etc.

Then off we went to their theme park and yup, i was apprehensive about the safety level of the park. Since i was already there, i put my faith into the rides and yup, i managed to leave Dufan, alive! Some rides were sick. And the sicker ones were under maintenance. My last ride just left my stomach in pain. Like there was a gravity of its on, pulling my insides into all awkward directions. Then we went to have seafood, all kinds of them! Pretty much a tiring and long day!

We spent the saturday going to the market to get dried food for my mom and my failed search for my ukulele, then i had to endure some horrible cramps while we were on the way to Senayan City + Gandaria mall. Okay traffic there is really bad and on that day, it could have possibly been the worse. And what i was really touched about is that we asked this parking attendant to find us a cab (fyi, it's just impossible to find decent, non-fraudulent taxi drivers during heavy traffic and at an inconvenient place), and he really went all out to make sure we find a cab.

Firstly, it wasn't even his job to find us a cab. Secondly, finding a Bluebird (the most trustworthy taxi company) took him a painful 30minutes or more under the hot sun. Thirdly, he didn't even give up. He went all out to make sure we get a cab. Awww!? And we gave him a huge tip. Really, you don't get to find this kind of tip-top service in Sg no matter how great we delusively think our service level is. You really can't till you go there and experience it for yourself. You go to their malls in city area, you get great service. It's clean, it's beautiful, it's peaceful. And even better than Ion sg. I'm not joking.

You enter any restaurants (expensive or not), you still get great service. Totally beats the 10% service charge we pay for in sg. Here, and on unlucky days, you even get shitty service. The people there are different. They do their job exceptionally well. Impeccable service, i must say. Initiatives taken, constantly over-looking our table to ensure we have whatever we need and also fast service.

The food there is fantastic! I'll just name a few restaurants i went to okay? Sate Khas Senayan, Cafe Betawi, Cal-Roll factory, etc! Anyway Cal-Roll Factory is a must-go! HEHEHE SORRY SHAMELESS PROMO! Apart from the owner being Nanny (my sissy's friend), it is also the only franchise out of the States! AND THE SUSHI IS....HOLY COW. It was fine culinary...and i even broke a glass. Maybe it was too yummy right till i lost conscious of my dining space. Hahahahahahahaizz but yup, got a deserving amount of attention the moment the glass hit the floor.

What's miserable was that, i watched it roll down my skirt and i failed at my attempt to save it. But anyway yeah, we were forcing Nanny to open a franchise! But wow, the cost to rent a stall here is so much more expensive! And you know what i hate about holidays sometimes? You can't get the same food at home. It couldn't be anymore agonizing to know the food cant be bought locally! The satay there is also different! From the meat to the peanut sauce, you can't find it here. Ate a lot of dessert there! Even found a perfect mash-up ice cream combo! Cheesecake and hazelnut! So indulging..and sinful! Then there's martabak manis. Idk how some can like it but...it's like asking for a shorter life if you eat. Yup they're really not stingy with ingredients and all (again, great service + quality of food) but just by looking at the way they make the pancake and the ingredients used...i feel so full. It's like, i dont even have to eat it to be food drunk. I tooka coupla of videos. Think imma compile everything and edit it to show yguys. Well, if i have the time and am bothered to make it.

Gosh im typing at the speed of lightning. I think im still excited and riled up about my trip eventhough it's over. On the sunday, we went to Plaza Indonesia and Grand Indonesia, which is like our Ion and Paragon or maybe as big as MBS? That's where all the high-end brands like Gucci, Chanel, LV, Valentino are at, and also the normal ones like F21! And Charles & Keith, Bershka, Pull&Bear too. Things there are generally more expensive. I didnt buy much stuff there. Except for a chiffon outerwear, about 3 necklace, a pair of earstuds, two pairs of flats, alot of junk food i can never find in sg and guess what? A ukulele! YUP I GOT MYSELF A UKULELE AT HALF THE RETAIL PRICE HERE. I honestly gave up finding a Uke on the earlier days so i spent my money on alot of food and junks and some random stuffs. A cinderella pez candy for myself and snow white (-.-") one for Myreen, my fav kacang atom and nyam nyam snack. Oh! They even have Pepsi Blue! I brought a can of it home and i'm planning to pass it to Tri or Afiq hahahahahaha. Or maybe i should drink it myself.

Hahaha i sidetracked! So anyway, when i checked in for my flight and had time to walk around in their transit, i found the Uke in one of the souvenir shops! AWWW FATE! But i was cashless and thank God mom always give me extra money. Love you. So okay, im happy right now. And coincidentally, Nidia and i were on the same home-bound flight. So nice to catch up with her! And the flight home made me emotional. I wish holidays didn't have to end. I wish it was forever. I was dreading to go home, knowing school is reopening and also avoiding some people in my life. Oh wells, life!

So that was my holiday. Pardon any grammatical errors. I have alot of them. Especially a mountain of them since it's 4am right not and i'm almost brain dead. Goodnight!

P/s: Pictures here are kinda in a random manner woops!
P/p/s: Gonna upload pics onto fb like tmr or something!

Singapore...mehhhhhh

2011-10-11T02:39:00.000+08:00

I am home! Gonna knock out in abit and leave all the unpacking, blogging and updating till tmr or the day after! XX

Goodbye Singapore!

2011-10-06T01:42:00.000+08:00

I have a 10am flight to catch. I'm not ready. I am not done with packing. My mind's elsewhere. My heart... i can't seem to find it ;)

See y'all in 5 days time! XX

Save the dolphins!

2011-10-05T02:11:00.000+08:00

A day well spent with this babe! Made me feel like i was back in tp year 1! We had so much adventures in the past. So anyway we went to a whole lot of 'new places'. So we thought Singapore was already small. But not till we kept going around in circles that we discovered how much smaller it really is. I'm not kidding yo.

So today i'm just so happy and blessed and contented cause it was really fruitful. Also, Hils got to try out the Lita (no size for me!) and i got to try the Creepers i wanted. Yes the exact same design. Awwwww! I was hyperventilating when i put it on. Omggggg! Okay i cant wait for the day when we'll have our Litas ordered and shipped and also those amazing pair of Creepers (about sgd 250 for the lita and sgd 185 for the creepers ehem ehem hint hinttttt where's mah prince charming atttt i need no glass slippers yo). I'm thinking about it now. Ahhh i think i won't be able to sleep! Hehehehe. Alright moving on, we then went to Philatelic museum. We spent like a good few hours there and time really flies when you're having fun, they say! How true! Then we made a short trip to Peranakan museum. Wished we had more time to visit more museums. But nvm, that could only mean that we'll be going for more awesome adventures hehehe! Proceeded to find Grand Corpthorne Waterfront hotel for the dialogue session with Ric O'Barry! Anyway thanks to the countless number of people whom we asked for directions. Quite handy to have friends who have iphones too! (Prove that we don't need one! We still managed to find that place eventhou we had a tough time visualising it!) So yeah, the dialogue session was intriguing! Such a nice man Ric is.

Anyway guys, if you haven't know, RWS has held 27 dolphins (in which 2 of them already died) captive for its marine park. As you know, dolphins are sonic animals and being held captive would only meant that they're kept in horrible constrained spaces with only concrete walls. These aren't made for the dolphins. Dolphins are made to roam around in the wild! At a high speed, moving into different places! Not trapped in an enclosure (urghh and even rusted ones!!!), being trained to perform in dolphin shows! And do you know how they catch these dolphins? They use a hammer and knock onto some metal piece to create these extremely loud and disturbing sirens to drive these dolphins into the captive places. How cruel. Sorry i just get emotional and sad over these kind of things and then i grow into a rage and urghhhh. K i just made myself angry trying to explain it. BUT GUYS, DO SPREAD THE WORD! RAISE THE AWARENESS. DON'T BUY A TICKET TO A DOLPHIN SHOW. EVER. If you want to see dolphins, save some more goddamn money and go whale watching on a cruise or a boat. And like Ric said, in life, you don't always get what you want. Not all of us may be able to afford to see the dolphins roaming freely but that's how life works. AND IF YOU ASK ME, I WOULD NOT WATCH DOLPHINS BEING MADE TO LOOK LIKE FOOLS AND LIVING IN STRESSFUL CONDITIONS (LIKE IN THE MARINE PARK). THOSE AREN'T THEIR HOMES. THEY BELONG IN THE WILD. And knowing that RWS is just ignoring the pleas and feeding the public with false info is just so... misgiving. They make so much revenue in a quarter, why the need to have dolphins?! I think that releasing the dolphins back into the wild would only gain them positive publicity! Isn't that a good thing? It's not too late! SAVE THE DOLPHINS. LET THE DOLPHINS GO. SIGN THE PETITION. RAISE AWARENESS. SPREAD THE LOVE. GET RWS TO RELEASE THE DOLPHINS BY SHOWING HOW MUCH YOU CARE.

saddestdolphins.com

Alright i sound like an activist huh. I've yet to pack my bag for my jakarta trip. I've yet to even decide what to bring. Great! Goodnight guys!

Happy October!

2011-10-01T23:50:00.000+08:00

What is up guysssssssss?

Okay hi! Spent the first of october with these beautiful girls who got their navels pierced. Oh and with Syahir. Bumped into a lot of familiar faces, so it was really a good day. Dined at strictly pancakes and thank god i didnt end up food drunk like the first time. Which reminds me.... I miss outings with Mavis and Lynda.

Now that it's already october... i just realised the little number of days i'm left with before school starts. Really very little after minus-ing the 5 days in jakarta. Zzz. I'm not looking forward to the new semester. At all. But okay... POSITIVE THOUGHTS! I have no plans tmr but i feel like having my own 'me' time, wondering around. I love this kind of things. Hehehehe. Monday will be spent with sister and mother to pizza hut and town? Tuesday will be spent with hils which i so cant waitttttt! I totally have to meet Lynda to get my camera back for jakarta trip and also because i miss that recently-turned-nineteen a little too much. Plus, Natt and Khai, hopefully! So hard to meet them these few days. Shall spend my coming wednesday packing my stuff and then flying off on thursday. Idk why i'm suddenly having mixed feelings about it. I wonder what we're gonna do besides visiting Nanny and her new-born. Let's just hope it'll be a nice holiday since i only have SGD$570 to spend on flight, hotel and also shopping. I dont think it's even enough!? But i hope there's gonna be activities that'll make me tired so i'll sleep fast enough and not feel homesick. Hahahaha don't judge! Even when i stayed over at my sister's crib, i get it alot. I'll feel so lonely and unsafe the moment i'm tucking in. Like i would miss my bed so much and i would wonder what my mom might be doing without me yada yada yada. Such a mummy's child!

You wanna know how much money i have right now? $1.25 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA okay i do have a hundred bucks which i already set aside for bday presents (which is totally not enough), outings, and so many things lah. Havent even start saving for my dream pair of Litas. Thank god mother paid the reasonable $80 for a pair of jeans, skirt and tights when i went out with her. Imagine if i'm left with.... $20!? Bottomline is, i'm broke.

So now i'm just hoping that i'll get better by the time i fly off. Last thursday had me hiding in my toilet while my sister and father stood vigilant outside. They didn't move an inch till i finally gave in and they surely had fun watching me eat my flu tablet and cough mixture. Story of my life.

Hope yguys had a great start to october :>

Couch potato

2011-09-29T02:16:00.000+08:00

Caught the flu bug (again) from little Myreen. My immune system is really horrible. And Myreen and i are like twins, you know? She gets sick, i get sick too. I get sick, she gets sick too. She doesn't like to stick around with me. I love disturbing and making her cry. We're always at each other's tails. Now, THIS is tough love ;)

Anyway, been watching alot of tv series/movies the past week. I luvvvv holidays. I can do anything without having to worry about meeting a dateline. So yup, i resumed watching Skins and also the new season of Gossip Girl. I also completed watching the tv series of 10 things i hate about you (they should really make the second series and Ethan Peck is extremely goodstuff!). And then there's new shows i discovered like New Girl (Zooey is so cute!) and 2 Broke Girls (have always thought Kat Dennings had huge boobs) and hmm, what else? I watched Don't be afraid of the dark and Contagion over the past week. It's just...mehhhhh. Can't wait to have movie marathon with the girls on one weekend in october. Yay. There's so many stuff to watch!

P/s: Anybody wanna recommend sitcoms/comedy/teen-drama kind of show? HEHEHEHEHE

Insecurities are ugly

2011-09-28T00:52:00.000+08:00

Happy happy happy birthdayyyyyyyyyyyy, Lynda! Aww, sweet bff! Can't believe we watched each other grow...for 14 years alrdy?! Woah. I love you, sweet pea. Hope we'll meet soon since our swimming date is cancelled. Love you mucho locco. May God bless you!

And i miss Mavis sooooo much! 41 days till she hits the shores.

Anyway, the rain is cheering me up right now. And why was i down? Asked my father! He just wrongly accused me of being in a relationship with this man (not a guy, not even hot) who coincidentally happened to live in the same block as i do and was walking slightly ahead of me. WHY DO I HAVE PARANOID PARENTS? (Insecurities are ugly btw) I just hate being accused when i did nothing wrong. If they accuse me of something true, atleast i would be guilty. But no, i'm not even guilty and it makes me upset. Also, he keeps accusing me of hanging out with bad company when he CLEARLY KNOWS who my friends are. Idk if i should laugh at how ridiculous this is or not. But yes, i am finally complaining about this out loud for the whole world to see because...... if your parents aren't paranoid about you and your choice of friends and the existence of a bf, then yes, count your blessings. If not..... ERR HEY! CHEERS!

P/s: I am 19. I am single. I have really amazing friends. And my parents still don't trust me.

P/p/s: On second thought, i'm moving on and i only have myself to prove at the end of the day. So yup, you cannot fathom the immensity of the shit i do not give right now.

Suppp

2011-09-27T12:40:00.001+08:00

LIFE'S BEEN GREAT
How about yours?

Just watched Gossip Girl S5E1. Been waiting for so long so... HEHEHE HERE COMES MY WEEKLY TUESDAY ROUTINE.

P/s: Brb. Drooling at the sight of Chuck and Dan.

300

2011-09-24T03:00:00.000+08:00

I think i should just put the polaroid plan on hold and get started on saving up for a pair of Litas. I always knew i wanted them since so long ago but just thought it was quite pricey. Shall put myself to the test and save 300 bucks. I know that's like crazy. But Hils and I are planning to save together so that's quite inspiring, for me! Doesn't matter how long this is going to take... we will make it! Even challenging knowing that October hasn't even started but it's almost sucking my wallet dry. Cow. Can't wait for school to start so i can get moolahs. HEHEHE ALSO.... I CANT WAIT TO GET JAR OF HOPE BACK IN BUSINESS!

The classmates

2011-09-22T16:57:00.001+08:00

What a waste the rest couldnt make it or else it could've been a better one. Truthfully, there are a few of them who has genuinely made my nyp life fun and pretty much a breeze. Funny how a period of approximately two years turned out rather well. I've even grown to adore them and seeing them everyday in school is already a routine. Now that it's the holidays, i do miss that bunch of them. Hahahaha i know right. Coming from me? Cheesy shitttttt.

I guess love taught me to chuck my ego aside and put my walls down hahahahaha

Twist and turn

2011-09-20T02:23:00.000+08:00

Met Lynda for abit and we bought an exact same dress. Awww :') Have fun while in Desaru and stay safe too!

So, what's there to look forward to tmr? Results and picnic and maybe a bit of sleepover at my sister's. I'm feeling sick right in the pits of my stomache.

All the best to everyone!

Sick muse

2011-09-18T03:15:00.000+08:00

Funny how time made you realise that there are unexpected people who took the effort to care for you. Or people you expect to care for you, never bothered to. You'll come to realise that they are people who leave you like a shadow disappearing the moment darkness sets in. Or those, who will walk into your life, bringing so much hope and joy. There are also circumstances where people you have always spent your time with and had so much to talk about...just have nothing else to say or time too little to be spent on you. Through out my whole life, i guess the existence of these scenarios have been the most consistent. Ahh, the beauty of life! ;)

P/s: By the way, write ups in this journal aren't entirely true. I can't believe people can take me seriously (really, me?!). Hilarious! You'll be able to differentiate it if you know me well enough hehehe

Zzz

2011-09-17T17:00:00.000+08:00

Going to my uncle's which is just two streets away. So bored waiting for the folks. Just. Look. At. My. Face.

Anyway it's crazy that i still have to wear kurung even though raya is almost over.

Bottoms up!

2011-09-16T02:17:00.000+08:00

Today felt better. Can't believe i went to bed last night crying. I haven't been upset with certain things at home for a while now. So it felt quite overwhelming for me. Ahhh nevermind, i woke up feeling better so yup! I'm not the type to brood over things anyway!

Bought tops today, 4 exactly. I still have a few tops (and footwears) that i havent even had the chance to wear out and i've just added few pieces more to my list of commonly impulsive buys. I'm on a quest to find a pair of bottoms of a perfect fit. Or skirts. I reckon this will take forever. Hmmm yeah, whatever.

Also, im just wondering how people can spend like hundreds to thousands (no joke!) on just a SINGLE shop selling apparels at an average cost of, say 35 bucks? Like, do you buy every design they have or whuttt? Shopping hard vs shopping smart? The latter, for me.

P/s: Happy birthday, Hana and Syahira!

The best girlfriends

2011-09-13T18:22:00.000+08:00

Through the years, through it all :')

Come on

2011-09-11T02:51:00.002+08:00

One of my ultimate favourite songs, forever giving me goosebumps! Always bring me to one day during secondary two when Farah and i headbanged to the original version of this on one of our school trips. And this...just made me cry. I dont know how many times i've cried over Paramore. One of the best bands i grew up and had emotional attachment with, so what can i say? Cant deny that i miss Josh's screamo part, too! Ahh, good times!

Also, i cried when they sang The Only Exception during this year's concert. I didnt even care cause i was alone, estranged from the girls due to the mad crowd. I cried and still feel broken about it.

Shall watch their full show at FBR15 right now :')

Just sharing!

2011-09-09T01:54:00.000+08:00

"Calling when you say you're going to call is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house, baby. And it's cold outside. You don't want to be "sort of dating" someone. You don't want to be "kinda hanging out" with someone. You don't want to spend a lot of energy suppressing your feelings so you appear uninvolved. You want to be involved. A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves. If he's not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants you back, it should only be because he's showing up at your new residence to do it in person. If he's not doing any of that, he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you. Stop taking his calls and let him know what it's like to live without you.

Don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You're deeply missable. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you. It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone, you end up settling for much, much less than you would have ever imagined. Remember always what you set out to get and please don't settle for less. Don't confuse being classy with being a doormat. Classy is walking away with your head held high, graciously, and with all dignity. Being a doormat is offering to drive him to the dentist for his root canal. No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing. You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time."

Count your blessings

2011-09-08T01:59:00.001+08:00

I had so much to rant about today. But then, i came across a site relating to the misfortunate that made me feel unworthy to talk about the temporary things that overstretched my limits and made me mad earlier on. When i looked back at what i was faced with, i feel so ashamed knowing my problems aren't even big/serious/needs any attention. It was just something menial that had initially triggered me to want to let my steam off. It has since made me reflect about others who are having a day worst than mine. It made me grateful for things that i have and that others don't. It made me think about kids who are not just merely starving, but dying of starvation at this very moment. And yet... i had wanted to complain so much, minutes before this entry. As a whole, i am so blessed to have a plateful of food to keep me full, a bed to lie down on, family and friends i could count on, a roof over my head, and material things that has made my life comfortable and easy.

I wish i'll have more moments like this. Moments that will make me think/reflect before i make any complaints (Yeah, complaining is just in me, like a legal right i was entitled to). I can be so tender loving to people i love, and yet to the rest, i'm like a forest fire spreading in the wild. Hahaha, i've never changed. I can get so irrational and it's crazy how little my tolerance for people can be. It's like...as long as i don't let my steam off, the fury just keep boiling in me. Literally, boiling, guys! No joke, you can ask my little nephews. I actually feel victorious the moment my heart lurches and rage surges out of me...my body heat will just skyrocket and i'll feel so satisfied to be able to let my steam off. I know, i know! I sound like a morbid person and that's one flawed quality of mine that i should be working on. Thank God today, i came across that tear-jerking article. So a little step at a time, and may i be granted with more patience. InsyaAllah.

P/s: If i haven't explode before you, i must have liked you ;)

Pretty high

2011-09-06T04:04:00.002+08:00

It's 4am right now. And life's been great for me currently. Just feeling pretty excited cause i planned a raya outing with the spf girls and also, one with my nyp classmates.

Also, i owe Lynda and the bitches a date! It's hard to go out during Raya period cause mother might need me and of course, i'll have to be the filial daughter. (I heard your praises, well, thank you hehehe).

Anyway, how have i been spending my holidays? Been spending it on sleep, checking out fashion blogs, getting some art stuff, painting my nails, doing visiting, feeling happy and contented, seeking inspirations, bullying the niece, yup nothing thaaaaat productive. And so, enough of resting! Imma get my ass get some stuff done this week, hopefully!

But first, let me correct my bodyclock! Goodnight, buddies!

Second Syawal

2011-09-01T02:27:00.002+08:00

Candid picture on the second of Syawal! Looking at my father's face.....just cracks me up!

I wonder what i would do or even be without my family. They shaped me up. We get mad at one another, we care for one another, sometimes we just don't listen, other times H2H talks can be so moving. A love like this can't go wrong. Oh Allah, keep them safe from danger, protect them with your love, guide us close to you always, forgive our mistakes for we are only human. Amin.

Over the month, i feel like i was given the opportunity to be closer to Him. To continue where i left off. It may not be drastic. Father taught me to make little prayers. It gives me so much hope. People around me inspire me so much to be the best that i can be, to even be a better person and i feel so grateful for that. One thing i know is that i'm slowly opening up, to show my appreciation for the people in my life. It is really such a blessing to meet them. I know i can come across as a mean and cold-hearted person to people i'm not personally close to, and i should really stop doing that. Trusting myself to trust them is quite a challenge. But i believe in His rewards.

On a less serious note (HAHAHAHA) k i'm still me lah. Omg i sounded so serious but then again, i think i'm maturing/growing up. I do have the freedom to put my personal thoughts into words in this blog okay hehehe! I guess there's just much lesser wacky daily highlights compared to the livejournal i had 3 to 4 years back (and for more of the former, you can always get yourself spammed by my tweets). And hey, it's alrdy September! Here's to a good start! Also, BFF is turning 19 this month! YAY

XX

1st Syawal

2011-08-31T01:34:00.002+08:00

Eid Mubarak 2011!

I'm all smiles! It was a great day! I woke up feeling blessed. Blessed to be alive, to be with my loved ones, to have everything that i need. Love, warmth, and a roof over my head. Thank You, Allah, for giving me everything i need. Alhamdullilah ;)

End of Ramadhan

2011-08-29T21:48:00.002+08:00

There you go! Another raya, another vlog! Ramadhan passed in just a blink of an eye and the takbir made me teary-eyed, yet again. I miss my late grandma, for the past 10 years. Semoga Allah mencucuri rohnya. Amin.

Breath of fresh air

2011-08-27T02:51:00.004+08:00

Hi there.....

New feel, new content, new chapter. That's right. I do this every single time and amazingly, it works. Every time i want to start a new chapter in my life, blogger is always there. Blogger lets me create something new out of the old. Also, it lets me go of certain past in my life. Or maybe it's just me, but what i know is, blogger allows me to create an avenue, a realm so far from what is. A realm of possibilities.

So the thing is, i think i'm ready. I always say i will move on. I said i will let time fix me, but reality is i'm far from getting better. Time heals? Not really. I realise i need to do it for myself because i WANT to. Only i can fix myself, not anybody or anything else. I was exhausted from waiting to be alright, waiting and wishing each day would turn out brighter than the one before. Some days it gets better, some days i wake up feeling so much pain, as if everything just happened once again. I can't control my feelings for sure, but i could take little steps to make what happened a learning point. I could positively change things if i WANT to. I knew this so well, but i guess time made me forget. I'm grateful i'm here now, awaken with this realisation (once again) that only I can change the things in MY life with enough effort.

So maybe i hope for things between us to get better, to go back to what was before. But maybe this is it. This is what i have to deal with and most importantly, accept with my pair of open arms. I'll graciously work with what's left and what i'll soon discover in my life. There'll be no more brooding with the depressing thoughts of you or anyone who's gonna walk out of my life in the near future. There'll be no more black wave washing over me, taking complete control of me.

This takes some guts, but i'll try living with my guards down. I'm tearing those walls down. My cold heart? Who needs it? Why should i doubt people before i could even get to know them? I'll refrain myself from pushing people away. Enough of trying to be tough. It only made me weaker in the end. It made me lose myself, even. Love happens, at any time. And when one falls in love, they will fall ever so deeply and nothing or no one can stop them. What's life without risks? What's life without taking chances? What is there to be afraid of? I know i'll be alright. I'm young. I have a whole life ahead of me. I. Will. Be. Okay.